Tag: political jokes

Patience in listening is must

A politician went to a village for election campaigning.

He asked the villagers to mention two main problems in the village.

He promised them to solve those two main problems immediately.

The villagers informed him that one of their problems was lack of qualified medical doctors.

The politician quickly took out his cell phone and pretended to be making a call to the Health Department.

He then told them that their problem was solved at his insistence.

Feeling satisfied, he then asked them about their second problem.

They had a smile in their face …..

And they told him that…

They do not have any mobile network in their village…😂

An imaginary political joke- just for joke

Text Jokes

An imaginary political joke

Trump’s first day at the Oval Office. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI:

Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately.

CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.

Trump: The Democrats created them.

CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.

Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.

CIA: We can’t do that.

Trump: Why?

CIA: India will cut Balochistan out of Pak.

Trump: I don’t care.

CIA: India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons. They will become a superpower. We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.

Trump: But you have to destroy the Taliban.

CIA: Sir, we can’t do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes.

Trump: We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the Saudis.

Pentagon: Sir, we can’t do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can’t have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil – and we cannot let their people own it.

Trump: Then, let us invade Iran.

Pentagon: We cannot do that either, sir.

Trump: Why not?

CIA: We are talking to them, sir.

Trump: What? Why?

CIA: We want our stealth drone back. If we attack them, Russia will obliterate us as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.

Trump: Then let us invade Iraq again.

CIA: Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.

Trump: Why not the whole of Iraq?

CIA: We need the Shi’ite gov’t of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.

Trump: I am banning Muslims from entering US.

FBI: We can’t do that.

Trump: Why not?

FBI: Then our own population will become fearless.

Trump: I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.

Border patrol: You can’t do that, sir.

Trump: Why not?

Border patrol: If they’re gone, who will build the wall?

Trump: I am banning H1Bs.
USCIS: You cannot do that.

Trump: Why?

Chief of staff: If you do so we’ll have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore. Which is in India.

Trump: What  the hell should I do???

CIA: Enjoy the White House, sir! We will take care of the rest!!! God bless America!

This the best Alternative Solution for Security

Letter from a man in Birmingham to his friend in London:
“I was fed up with being burgled and robbed every other day in my neighbourhood. The alarm system was no use so I tore it out and deregistered from our ineffective local Neighbourhood Watch…

Instead, I’ve planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden.

Now, the city police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all keeping watch on my house 24x7x365…

I’m followed to and from work every day and my wife too when she goes out shopping.

So no one bothers us at all…
I’ve never felt safer… All thanks to Pakistan.”

Attitude makes the difference

Text Jokes

How long would it take you to buy BMW?


Doctor: Well.. I think at least 3 months.


MBA: It should take about 5 months of work.


Engineer: 1 year of work.


politicians:I think for that.. I should work for 5 years


Interviewer: Why sooooooooo long??


politicians:Well, BMW is quite a big company!


That is attitude!