Tag: marriage jokes

I’LL Alter Him..

A newly married Alan goes to meet Father George.

He greets the priest and says, ‘Father, I need to talk to you.’

The Priest asks, ‘Is it a confession, my son?’

Alan replies, ‘No, Father! I need to clarify something.’

The Priest takes Alan to his private chamber and says, ‘Tell me, Alan. What is it?’

Alan asks, ‘Father, why do the kindest of girls begin their quest to change men after marriage?’

The Priest smiles and replied,

‘Alan, my son; as the bride walks down the long aisle, her brain registers 3 stimulii.

The altar, the choir and the sound of the hymn being sung.

Aisle, altar, and hymn. She becomes mesmerized.

Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn.

And finally, as she stops beside the groom, she is already saying to herself

Timing is very important

Timing is most important for everything

At a wedding ceremony the priest asked “if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on, it was time to stand up and speak, or forever hold his or her peace”.

The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a baby.

She started slowly walking toward the pastor.

Everything quickly turned to chaos.

The bride slapped the groom and stormed out of the church.

The groom’s mother fainted.

The groomsmen and brides maids ran away in all directions .

The priest asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”

Here lies the best part …………

The woman replied politely, “Father….. I can’t hear anything from the back….so am moving to the front seats”.😂

Tears of bridal girl

Tears of bridal girl

The day after marriage bridal girl was in tears and little boy on watching this asked his dad

Son: Dad, why the girl is crying?

Dad: Because she is leaving her parents and going to a new place.

Son: What about that boy?

Dad: He will start crying from tomorrow.

Why Indian women have red dot in head

​A foreigner asked Indian Husband,

“Why Indian Women have Red Dot ? on their forehead ?”

Indian replied,

“Because they Record everything..”?????

Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that…….

“This conversation will be recorded for Internal Training and Quality purpose  And can Be used against U whenever required”  …. ?????

A tiger after marriage…

​A Tiger was getting married and all animals attended the wedding .

Every animal stood at distance and wished the  Tiger.

A cat came and climbed to the stage and danced nicely then extended his hand to wish the tiger.

The tiger roared in rage and said how dare you come on the stage? Even the panther is maintaining its distance and you climbed the stage.

The cat replied and after listening to that the Tiger fainted. What would have the cat said ???

Any guess???

The cat said “Oh shut up buddy, even I was a tiger before marriage”
Forward the msg to married people to get some smile on their face

A marriage proposal to the businessman 

Text Jokes

An Arab falls in love with a Businessman’s daughter and decides to meet her father.
Arab : Your daughter is beautiful and I love her. If you  let me marry her I will give u gold equal to her weight.
Businessman: I need time.
Arab : To think?
Businessman : No no…to increase her weight ??