Solutions to all your problems

Whenever you feel depressed in life….

open your E-Mail inbox including spam folders…

You can find:

1) 6 banks are giving easy loans….
2) 10/15 banks waiting to deliver your pre approval credit card….
3) you have won £ 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons….
4) 8-10 Job companies have best jobs for you…
5) 3 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for you…
6) Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure your hair fall…
7) 5-6 universities are giving you degrees in random subjects….

And moreover,

8) Approx 20-25 mails from Riya, Priya, and Neha who are feeling lonely and want to meet you….

..What else more you want in life? …..😂

A corporate story: Parrots

Corporate story…..

Once a man goes to a shop to buy parrot. He asks the shop owner price of the Parrot:

Shop owner: RS. 500

Customer: Why so costly?

Shop owner: He knows Word, Excel and Power Point

Customer: What’s the price of this second Parrot?

Shop owner: RS. 1000 as it knows Word, Excel, Power Point and also Programming

Customer: how nice, and what’s the price of this parrot which is sleeping?

Shop owner: That’s for RS. 5000 Customer: And what does it know?

Shop owner: That I don’t know, I haven’t seen him do anything, but the other two parrots call him Boss.

Welcome 2019

Inspirational

When I started using pen in my school days, and I made a mistake, I would try hard to erase it before submitting to my teacher.

Sometimes, I use chalk to clean my mistake but it later re-appeared.

So I began to use saliva, it worked, but only to leave holes in my books.

My teachers then used to beat me for being outrageously dirty. But all I tried to do was to cover my error.

One day, a kind hearted teacher who loved me so much called me aside and she said, ” Anytime you make a mistake, just cross it and move on” .

She said further ” Trying to erase your mistakes would only damage your book to nothing.

I told her in protest that I don’t want people to see my mistake.

My loving teacher laughed and said ” Trying to erase your mistake will make more people know about your mess and the stigma is for life”.

Have you made some mistakes in life? Cross it over and move on.

Don’t expose yourself as a result of trying to cover your mistakes.
Better things are ahead of you…..

Strike out your 2018 mistakes and move into 2019 with a fresh note……

Say bye bye 2018 and welcome 2019…..

What may happen if you visit very rich relatives

Text Jokes

DON’T VISIT VERY RICH RELATIVES OR FRIENDS

I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked.

MAID: What would you like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?

ME: Tea please.

MAID: Thanks. Which one you prefer, Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?

ME: Ceylon Tea please.

MAID: How do you want it, black or white?

ME: White….

MAID: Milk or fresh cream?

ME: With milk.

MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?

ME: Cow’s milk.

MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?

ME: Uhm, lemme go with the freezeland cow.

MAID: Would you like it with sweetner, sugar or honey?

ME: Sugar.

MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?

ME: Cane sugar

MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?

ME: OMG! forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…

MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?

ME: Mineral water.

MAID: Flavored or non flavored?

ME: Leave it. Infact, get me an empty glass!

MAID:Do you want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug?

ME: Free me, I am ok as it is…”

Send to αll your friends to put a smile on their faces…… Don’t spoil the fun.

Month puzzle September

Logic Puzzles

Calling the brilliant minds in the group to solve this.

It is claimed that hardly 2% students could solve this:

January = 1017
February = 628
March =1335
April =145
May =1353
June = 1064
July = 1074
August = 186
September = ?

… Got answer?

Else check below..

Ans: 1999

Alphabetic position of first letter,  Month number, Number  of  alphabets

How to answer Train Window Viva question

Students went to an Engineering Viva Exam.

The first guy goes into the class, and the professor begins the Viva with a question…

“Let’s say you are traveling by train and its getting hot. What will you do?”

“Open the window”… he answers.

“Very good”…the professor continues..

“Now…The window has a surface of 1.5 m2″… and

“The compartment has a volume of 12 m3″… and

“The train speeds 80 kph to the west”…

“The south wind is blowing at 5 mps”…

“How quickly will the space be refreshed?”

The student does not know the answer and fails the exam.

He gets out and tells the other students the question.

The second student goes in, and the professor begins with the question…

“Lets say you are traveling by train and it’s getting hot. What will you do?”

“Sir, I’ll take off my coat”… answers the student.

“But It’s very hot!”…Continues the professor.

“Then I’ll Take off my shirt and my baniyan also.”…. Student

“But It’s damn hot!”…The professor adamantly insists.

“Then I’ll take off my pants and socks, Sir.” ….. Student

“But You can’t sit naked in the train!!!! They will report you to the police”… said the angry professor.

The student confidently answers…

Sir, whatever happens, I am not going to open that window!” 😬😂