WIFE TO “DRUNK” HUSBAND: from now on, if your lips touch liquor you will never touch my lips
WIFE: now what are you thinking ??
WIFE: deciding what ??
*18 yrs old SCOTCH*
*45 yrs old LIPS…😁*
I asked my friend, “What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?”
He said “You should share responsibilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”
I asked, “Can you explain?”
He said “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my Wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”
Still not convinced, I asked him “Give me some examples”.
He said “Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit the super market, when & where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy. Monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc. All are decided by my wife. I just agree to it ”
I asked, “Then, what is your role?”
He said “My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions on Zimbabwe, etc etc. and do you know, my wife NEVER, objects to any of these decisions”…😜
Dedicated to all Married Friends….!
If a woman listens to you for less than 5 minutes then she is your daughter.
If a woman listens to you for about 15 minutes then she is your sister.
If a woman listens to you for over 30 minutes then she is your mother.
If a woman pretends to listen to you all the time but does not remember a word of what you said no matter how important, then she is….???????
You are correct!!!!!!
*SHE IS DEAF*
Why bring wife into every joke 😡😡😜
ശിഷ്യൻ: ഗുരുവേ … എനിക്കുള്ള കുറവുകൾ എങ്ങനെ കണ്ടു പിടിക്കും?
നിന്റെ ഭാര്യ യോട് അവൾ കുറച്ചു തടിച്ചു എന്ന് മാത്രം പറയു….
അവൾ നിന്റെ കുറവുകൾ മാത്രം അല്ല…
നിന്റെ കുടുംബത്തിലെ സകല ആളുകളുടെ കുറവുകളും പറഞ്ഞു തരും…😀
ഭാര്യ: “ഇന്നത്തെ ബ്രേക്ക്ഫാസ്റ്റിന് ബ്രെഡ്ടോസ്റ്റിനൊപ്പം തേൻ ആക്കിയാലോ?”
ഭർത്താവ്: “ഒരു ജീവിയുടെ വായിൽ നിന്നും വന്ന സാധനം തിന്നാൻ എനിക്ക് താല്പര്യമില്ല ”
ഭാര്യ: “എന്നാപ്പിന്നെ മുട്ട പുഴുങ്ങിയത് എടുക്കാം” 😩
Wife was driving…..
Husband – “Why don’t you use indicators when you take a turn?”
Wife – “What do you mean use indicators…why should I?”
Husband- “So that, other drivers know which way you will turn.”
Wife- “Where I am going is nobody’s business*…!!!”
Husband – “Sorry…..
The day after marriage bridal girl was in tears and little boy on watching this asked his dad
Son: Dad, why the girl is crying?
Dad: Because she is leaving her parents and going to a new place.
Son: What about that boy?
Dad: He will start crying from tomorrow.
A story of a Cardiac surgeon working in a reputed hospital.
Normally after I come out of the operation theatre after performing the procedure many anxious near and dear ones of the patient waiting outside eagerly, rush to me and ask me many questions about the condition of the patient, success of the surgery etc. But recently I was asked a question by the patient’s wife for which I had no answer.
With both eyes filled with tears, she held both my gloved hands firmly and asked “Please tell me, doctor. ..was there any other lady in his heart ?”😀😀
A person on his death bed (in Mumbai at Hospital) with Wife, Kids and Nurse beside him.
Man to Eldest son : ” You take the 15 Bungalows at Borivali.”
To daughter : “You take the 8 bungalows at Juhu.”
To youngest son : “You are my youngest and dearest and I want your future to be bright, so you keep the 20 offices at Nariman Point.”
To wife : “Dear Kavita, you keep all 11 of our Lokhandwala building flats.”
Nurse – quite impressed –
To wife : “wow…You are lucky to have such a husband who is so rich and giving you all the properties etc.”
Wife: “What properties, what rich … Doodhwala hai sala..
he’s distributing our responsibilities of delivering Milk to his clients in the morning”.😜
😂 Nurse FAINTED !!! !!!!!!!